My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
