we have officially lost it.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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