New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
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