Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
