dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
