does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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