She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
