For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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