Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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