So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
