She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
bring money and cleavage
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
