Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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