i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
