I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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