he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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