just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
