I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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