porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
