guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm at about main and main street
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
