he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
