OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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