so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
