The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
