i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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