Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize
