If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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