sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
