Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
