Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
