Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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