I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
