Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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