my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
