Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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