real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
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