I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
