I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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