spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
