Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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