So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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