i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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