We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
so much tequila, so little girl.
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