Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
