i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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