I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize