his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
