I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
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