You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
