The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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