her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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